Infancy
The Songs echoed the whole place, I came to India a day ago, I spent the whole day with my family. Morning at four, I departed from my place.
Now, here standing infront of poonam's home, I felt overwhelmed. It's a just step away to encounter the past, I've been running for so long. Taking a long and deep breath, I looked inside.
The unknown faces stared at me, I searched for the familiar faces.
I heard my Collegemates reached yesterday night.
There is no huge difference but it's just, I'm so nervous seeing all of them. There are some bitter sweet memories that are associated with them.
'Infancy sis!! ' I heard a long scream,
'Hey, Parkavi!! ' I hugged her, she is poonam's sister.
'How are you? ' she asked,
'Ohh, I'm so fine. How are y'all? '
'Just good sis' she said and took me inside,
'Everything is happening because of your friends sis. I never thought Poonam had so many friends. The house feels so homey' she said,
'They planned dance too' she said looking at me,
'Let me take you to her' she said,
The house looks vibrant, joyful and happy.
'Why a hindi song? ' I asked her,
'I said right, your friends' she said,'they asked the family to do a sangeet and mehandi' she continued,
'My parents comtemplated first then accepted. So there are no parents here. Only friends! ' she squealed,
'Oh'
'Poonam, see who's here' she said, the people around her turned towards me, suddenly I'm the centre of attention.
'Heyyyyy'
'Infancy!! '
'Infanceeeee'
'Infantuhhh'
'Amaraaaaa'
I never once thought, what it would be like to give my friends a surprise visit but hear me, seeing the happiness in their face, it's worth the try.
As a whole they hugged me, it's just so fine moment. Some friends teared up seeing me.
Anu ~ one of the best girl. She can see me through and through. A girl who's always pull me back from the sad reality. She picked me up, clear my mind, boost me up and release me to enjoy the moment of my life.
She literally crawled and hugged me. I'm happy to see them. I'm no more afraid of the past. It just so overwhelming.
'How are you Poo? ' I asked, she hugged me,
'Oh I missed this. I'm fine. How are you? ' she asked me,
'Really good! ' I said to her,
We sat as a group and talked for like hours, it's just so good to see them again. It's not easy for everyone to gather like this as a whole.
Everyone busy with their life, but they took of risk and gave them a chance to enjoy a couple of days.
Some were married, some got engaged, some are single and some had kids. Whoa!
It's just felt purely bliss.
'Idk what they are doing for hours in the terrace! ' Jo asked,
'What he's doing? ' she said,
'Jo, control yourself. You're here for poonam's wedding. Control your desires lady' I said,
'I know. It's hard to control myself infront of him but I'll do for poonam' everyone laughed at her comment.
She's wild.
As always.
Her fantasies never fascinated me. But she has long list of her doings with her love of her life. She's dreamy.
'I'm expecting a child' a friend of me said,
'Oh my god! That's awesome' I squealed,
'Do they know you're here? ' Rose asked about the boys who all spending their time in the terrace,
'They don't! ' Anika said,
'I just change my clothes and come' I said,,
Poonam tugged me along,
'How are you? ' she asked,
'Good' I said, she know me well,
'Love' Anu called me,
'Jii' I smiled at her,
'How are you? ' she asked,
'Hmm' I replied,
They both looked at me,
'You can't lie to us' they said,
'Still stuck in the memories' I said,
'It's been ten years' poo said,
'I know poonam' I said,
'Still in love' Anu asked me,
'You know me well' I replied,
'Lets put end to this ten years of longing. Get some time for yourself. Get a hold on yourself. Talk to him' Anu said,
'I think it's better that way' poonam said,
'Let me try. I'm here for your marriage Poo' I said,
'Hmm, it's correct though. Let us be together and enjoy to the fullest okay' poonam said,
'I'm in as long as nothing hurts you' Anu said,
'Yes! ' I hugged them,
'It's surprise to your family right? How did they react? ' they asked,
I sat on the bed and remember that moment, I smiled looking at them.
*****
A day ago!
'Ding dong.... Ding dong'
'Maa, someone's at the door'
'Jerlin, go open the door'
'Maa? I'm tired can you please' she pleaded,
'Fine fine.. This generation..ufff..see you always say I'm talking about your sister but see, If Ancy was here, she would have help- '
Her voice stuck in the middle. Her eyes teared up.
'Ancy maa! ' she screamed,
'Jerlin, Jerlin dad.. Come here see who's here!! ' she squealed,
She started crying and hugged me,
'Ancy ma, how are you da' she started kissing my face and checked me,
'Oh, didn't you eat well? You become slim' she said,
'Maa maa, shhh' I said,
'I'm fine ma' I said and hugged her,
I kissed her forehead,
'Paa' I hugged him, he started crying and kissed my forehead, he hugged me and I looked at my crime partner,
'Linnn! ' I screamed,
She cried looking at me, 'Ancyyyy'
She screamed, they looked surprised and shocked,
Maa asked me to stand outside, she went inside to prepare a Aarathi plate, jerlin hold my hand tightly.
Paa took all my luggages inside, they are purely happy. It's been five years. I've gone for five
Present!
'I enjoyed the whole day with them, we had a long talk. Dad asked me to.. ' I looked the door,
'Someone is knocking the door' I said,
'Let me open the door' poo said,
'Hmm! '
'Poonamm!!! ' Poonam was engulfed in a tight hug,
My eyes widened looking at them,
Faaiza...
'Faaiza, how are you? ' Poonam asked,
Anu came towards me and stand beside me,
'See, I'm here' she was only looking at poonam.. But a pair of eyes caught my attention, my eyes travelled beside Faaiza and Poonam..
My knees felt weak, the pair of eyes which I fell in love is staring at me.
I missed you, Aman.
I missed you alot.
'Poonam, I bought you som-... In-Infan.. Infancy' her words broke in the middle..
My eyes travelled from Aman's eyes to Faaiza's eyes, I felt even more weak now. The past which haunted me is standing in front of me.
'Hey! ' I muttered,
'Hello' faaiza said,
'How are you, Infan? ' she asked,
'Good' I replied,
'You? ' I asked,
'Hmm, good' she said, I saw them, together. Again!
'Infu, change your clothes and come down okay' Anu said,
'Hmm' I replied but i didn't looked front, still I couldn't able to witness him.
Did I see him? Already!?
That's it?
I sat on the couch, it's not paining anymore!
I touched my heart, 'Are you dead? ' I asked my heart,
'I saw him. I saw him. He's here. I'm no more afraid to meet him' my eyes teared up, seeing them together digging my long lost memories.
I changed into an cotton salwar and went down. Some of the friends who I didn't met before, they are also here.
My voiced hunged in the throat, there is no words and no voice.
That pair of eyes didn't leave me for a second. It is constantly boring holes into mine. It is attracting mine to look at them.
They laughed, danced and played yet I felt empty. Alone and exhausted.
I need a space alone. I went from there to drank water.
They have a mud pot here. Oh!
I drank water from the mud pot.
'Hey' I stopped my actions, I don't want to turn around, I really don't want to look at his eyes, don't!
'Ancy? ' he said,
I closed my eyes, small smiled tugged on my lips, I masked the smile and turn around,
'Hey' I said,
'How are you? ' he asked,
As before, alone and shattered..!
' Great' I said to him.
'How's life? ' I asked him,
'Busy and lots of schedule' he said, I looked at him,
'How is your family? They all doing good? ' I asked him,
'They are fine' he smiled at me,
'Work? ' he asked,
'Surgeon, Melbourne' I replied,
'Oh, great' he said, my eyes unknowingly looked at his eyes, they are still shining like a brightest star in the cosmos.
I can already see the future. if I let him in, I will be lost again. I will fall in love.
I will definitely fall in love with him.
'Let's get Inside' I muttered looking ahead, I can feel his eyes on me.
No!
Don't!
Please don't!
'You want to? ' he asked,
I closed my eyes,
He's standing behind me, I'm facing forward, my back was facing him.
I didn't turn,
'Yes' I said and ran inside, I didn't wait for him and sprinted inside.
Oh my little heart!
Are you beating again?
Are you ready for the pain?
If you're not, don't!
Because, it's unhealthy to you
And unbearable for me!
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